Thursday, June 25, 2009

Fogginess, AWAY!

Wow

The past few days I have become much more sensitive to windows of time that seem to allow access to more energy. This fact has entered my consciousness quite a few times recently and I am so eager to explore it more fully during the month of July when I have no plans. Right now it seems to be between 11pm and 2am and also between 5am and 8am. There is something that happens inside of me that reminds me that anythings possible and allows me access to more portals of creativity and Life.

Doing qigong tonight I 'saw' so many things! It's like our bodies are perfectly spinning systems of energy in every moment. The only thing that prevents them from functioning perfectly is our perception of them. If we think we are fucked up, we will be fucked up. It sounds so simple but very few people are conditioned by society to see the perfection that already exists in their body. We always look for what's wrong and then try to come up with our own way to fix it. But our bodies have a consciousness that is far beyond what we can ever recreate ourselves. In Deepak's book,Quantam Healing, he states this fact on almost every single page: there is something in the human body that is unfathomable and resists being measured that is the key ingredient in healing. That's why some forms of medicine work on some people and not on others. But while I was in relationship to my body tonight, with qigong as the mediator, I could completely see how every part of me wants to be existing on a beautifully healthy level ... if only I could let it.

And so this translates to my emotional life. I have been carrying around this belief of, 'I have so many issues in this and this area.' But what if I didn't? What if I played the 'what if' game every day? What if it were just easy and my emotional world was fluid and everytime a discomfort came up I could tell myself, 'Yes, you will work through this too with ease and grace.' What if?

One of my most beautiful and solid friends called me at the exact moment I was thinking of him today. He does this often and this is one of the many reasons why I Love him: he always follows his intuition. He is one of the pillars of strength that surrounds my world and I tell him often that he gives me hope in the male race.

I have a meditation where I stand in the middle of a circle that is made up of all of the men that I know and Love and have shared healing hugs with. It is many and the circle is wide. So whenever I feel scared to open my heart or the world hasn't been kind to me that day. I stand in the middle of this circle and turn very slowly so as to look at each and everyone of those faces to remind me of the Love and support that is available to me at any moment. I don't think any of these men know how they heal me when they're not even thinking about it. Occasionally I throw the goddesses in there too but there are other mediations and rituals for them ;)

Oh it is extraordinary to be human ... today. Tomorrow it might hurt. But if that is the case, I will take them both.

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