Sunday, October 01, 2006

Can Love be too Infinite?

This journey that I've decided to embark on to open my heart has been absolutely fear-filled! I had no idea how much my actions were governed by fear until I made the conscious decision to live with an open heart. . . no matter what. After all, this is my natural state of being and the deepest desire of every being on this planet, so this is also one of the most impactful things I can do for not only myself but also the world.
Though this is accompanied by the obvious fears of being hurt, taken advantage of, and any invasive, abusive act happening through that heart space, I have recently watched other fears arise that are quite unexpected. The biggest one being my ability to fall in love with every human I meet. I have experienced this frequently enough to know that it is possible but rarely enough to think that it can only occur in a heightened state and that a portion of it is not real. . . based on the lack of residue. What I see now is that this is the way a heart-opened world would look. And the reason why the residual effects are not noticeable, is because every time it happens it scares me on such a level that I close down more intensely than before.
Isn't this my nature? Isn't this my blissful right? To unconditionally be in love with every human I meet. . . this is the effect of eternal compassion. This is the place that all of the great ancients occupied and spread throughout every interaction, word, and thought that they ever exuded. And here I sit. . . scared to death that this happens to me. I feel almost like this has been my absolute purpose and deepest desire for millenia and that this space, my inner space, is now conducive to support this phenomenon.
So today I will decidedly propagate these internal, natural rhythms of loving ecstacy, walk through my fears, and come out on the other side infinitely loving, radiating, and thoroughly basking in this experience of falling in love with everyone I meet.

No comments: