And then there was nothing ....

This human thing completely baffles me sometimes ....

My trip to a magical realm, it seems, has run it's course for now. I'm not sure exactly what is happening but I think it has something to do with choosing out of fear rather than Love.
The other day my new, beautiful friend and I allowed our fears to overtake us on the same day. I was convinced that I would never talk to him again and he thought he was not capable of getting close to someone for the fear of loss was stronger than Love. We finally talked after my day of inner conflict, emotional turmoil about what could be, and my made up incapability of getting intimately close to anyone. When we both realized that we had our freakouts on the same day, I couldn't help but laugh.
I know I am on this planet to choose out of Love and allow my fears to flow by me like the non-physical phantoms that they are .... He said the same.

Then yesterday came- I'm still not sure what exactly happened but all I can get out of it is maybe it's too uncomfortable for him. Maybe I'm sabotaging it. Maybe it was just a matter of circumstance that I blew out of proportion because this is still so new to me.

Whatever the case, I know that I cannot continue to close myself and my heart. I must walk into the world today and choose to open, choose Love. No matter what feeling I have inside, it is my job to hold an open heart space for myself and the world so that each human can do the same, one at a time.

I know this beautiful friend that I am setting free will do the same ... I only wish it were with me. But maybe our experience planted a seed inside of him that can be watered in the days to come and when he is ready, the seed with sprout a flower and expose that to the world. If that is the case, it will be one of the most beautiful flowers on this planet. I know- I have smelled it.

I have already learned a lot and I am so greatful for every moment I got to see the magical realm for I know that's more real than anything else in my life. I will remind myself of that every day and know, deep in my soul, that if I continue to hold my ideals I will create a situation where deep Love rules the situation and I can explore my self on every level with another human. And this request I send out into the Universe so that the Universe shifts RIGHT NOW to accomodate my deepest yearnings.
~And So It Is~