After this past week, I have even more confirmation of the importance of opening my heart. It doesn't matter if I feel sad, angry, betrayed, mislead, or any other emotion, one of my major missions on this planet is to continue the opening of my heart space and building my light body.
I'm realizing more and more that nothing that happens to me while in this body can ever harm my essence. This knowing makes me feel safe to open myself and my heart because the worst thing that can happen is I may experience some pain. It won't change who I am at my core. It won't mean the death of me or my emotions. It will mean that I could create ripples on this earth- ripples of heart openings that could cause all of us to open a little more before we act. It will mean that I can create a deeper experience of loving than I have experience in this lifetime. It will mean that I can connect more deeply with the humans that I love and allow them into my world on a deeper level.
The ironic thing is that when I am clenched so tightly closed from the inside out, I attract the people and situations that do energetically prey on fear and that violate human emotions. Anytime I have been completely open I have never once been taken advantage of, treated badly, or fulfilled any of the other fears I have about this issue.
I have done some major transformation in this area and my greatest hope is that with each decision I make to open myself and my heart space a little more, I will inspire other humans to do the same.
Maybe some day we will see that no matter what the status of the world or any one human might be, this is the most important act- being open, trusting, and loving enough to see a higher version of humanity and let go of our tendency to justify any kind of killing or demeaning act.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Face of Allow
Every cell in my body wants to be balanced. I can feel that down to the center of every molecule, my being craves health. My world loves to be harmonious. My brain likes to be open and still. My energy yearns to be fluid and even. My heart's deepest desire is to be always open, trusting, accepting. The natural state of every part of me is balance, order, homeostasis. I may never know this if I hadn't let a little bit of allowance into my world.
A lot of the past couple of weeks I have noticed that the only thing blocking my natural way of goodness is me. I stand in the way of my highest expression. I fend off an innate sense of knowing, understanding, and movement toward Source.
There is a balance within this concept. My friend Pedro says, "Presence is Preliminary to Everything." He is very right. Just showing up for myself allows a lot of the growth I have already seen. But at the same time, it's a little like holding space for life's natural flow to happen. I do have to show up for change to happen but with awareness that my logical mind may not always know the best picture of what that can look like. Showing up, trusting that something greater always encompasses me, and watching miracles happen. Because that is our natural state of being.
So my intention for today is to settle into certainty and naturally flow into a focused point of intensity so that I may show up for myself, my highest good, and allow greater things than I can currently see to envelope my experience.
And So It Is.
A lot of the past couple of weeks I have noticed that the only thing blocking my natural way of goodness is me. I stand in the way of my highest expression. I fend off an innate sense of knowing, understanding, and movement toward Source.
There is a balance within this concept. My friend Pedro says, "Presence is Preliminary to Everything." He is very right. Just showing up for myself allows a lot of the growth I have already seen. But at the same time, it's a little like holding space for life's natural flow to happen. I do have to show up for change to happen but with awareness that my logical mind may not always know the best picture of what that can look like. Showing up, trusting that something greater always encompasses me, and watching miracles happen. Because that is our natural state of being.
So my intention for today is to settle into certainty and naturally flow into a focused point of intensity so that I may show up for myself, my highest good, and allow greater things than I can currently see to envelope my experience.
And So It Is.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Love or Loves?
"Never love two loves, baby. This kind of love is driving me crazy."
This is a line from an Orbital song. Since this track is so pretty, I've never really thought about what it might be referring to, until recently. Someone very close to me once had an affair and told me, "I don't know if it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time but if it is, I am."
It has been argued that humans are naturally monogamous creatures; that we are monogamous due to socialization, etc.
I don't believe that I've ever experienced jealousy until the last couple of years. That may have something to do with the fact that it's only been recently that I've been more invested in my relationships and that I have been more geographically settled.
The funny thing is, I have forged intimate relationships within the same time frame of each other and I have never once compared them. Each human interaction has been completely unique. I absolutely honor every person that I have shared intimate space with and have never lied to them or devalued our exchanges on any level.
After I did first experience some jealousy, I examined it carefully. After all, I had heard so much about it and was curious as to it's origins. I believe every situation to be unique but for me jealousy was a questioning of my self worth and some comparison of my own. I realized that if I felt like I could believe and trust the person I was feeling jealous about, the jealousy basically disappeared.
The Ethical Slut, a book about sex, intimacy, and basic human relations states that when we have feelings, they are always ours and it's our job to own them and work them out however we need to. If that means confronting the jealousy inspirer for support, mirroring, or anything else we might need, so be it. If jealousy can be used as an opportunity to expand, understand ourselves, and heal some fears, then it seems that having multiple loves could be not only something acceptable but something desired.
As for me and the application of these concepts to my actual life, I'm undecided and uninvolved. I'm open and unattached. I think if honesty, unconditional love, and truth came along, dressed as a human, I couldn't say no, no matter what the situation looked like.
This is a line from an Orbital song. Since this track is so pretty, I've never really thought about what it might be referring to, until recently. Someone very close to me once had an affair and told me, "I don't know if it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time but if it is, I am."
It has been argued that humans are naturally monogamous creatures; that we are monogamous due to socialization, etc.
I don't believe that I've ever experienced jealousy until the last couple of years. That may have something to do with the fact that it's only been recently that I've been more invested in my relationships and that I have been more geographically settled.
The funny thing is, I have forged intimate relationships within the same time frame of each other and I have never once compared them. Each human interaction has been completely unique. I absolutely honor every person that I have shared intimate space with and have never lied to them or devalued our exchanges on any level.
After I did first experience some jealousy, I examined it carefully. After all, I had heard so much about it and was curious as to it's origins. I believe every situation to be unique but for me jealousy was a questioning of my self worth and some comparison of my own. I realized that if I felt like I could believe and trust the person I was feeling jealous about, the jealousy basically disappeared.
The Ethical Slut, a book about sex, intimacy, and basic human relations states that when we have feelings, they are always ours and it's our job to own them and work them out however we need to. If that means confronting the jealousy inspirer for support, mirroring, or anything else we might need, so be it. If jealousy can be used as an opportunity to expand, understand ourselves, and heal some fears, then it seems that having multiple loves could be not only something acceptable but something desired.
As for me and the application of these concepts to my actual life, I'm undecided and uninvolved. I'm open and unattached. I think if honesty, unconditional love, and truth came along, dressed as a human, I couldn't say no, no matter what the situation looked like.
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